Unequivocally Ambiguous

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The Killer The Media is not Reporting On

by | Mar 11, 2024 | culture | 0 comments

When will we stop this madness? (36/40)

The media is always keeping our focus on obvious villains. The ones that make splashy headlines, like Tucker Carlson going to Russia and talking about how affordable a French baguette is as if we are supposed to believe for a second that he has gone shopping one day in his life.

But the media don’t like us to pay attention to true killers.

I want to tell you about a heartless executioner. He hasn’t stopped murdering people since the early 1900s. It has gotten away scot-free since then — a vicious serial killer. But his crimes are not rambunctious like the bombs dictators like to drop. No, he is silent. He doesn’t want the attention. So, we don’t pay attention.

He is the true pre-pandemic, in-pandemic, and post-pandemic killer. He is responsible for an increase in fatal heart attacks; he is responsible for an increase in car accidents.

He causes so much frustration to adults everywhere that they turn to their children and spank them. Those adults don’t know who else to turn their frustration towards but their kids.

He is responsible for the ending of many relationships.

Dazed husbands cannot properly answer simple questions like, “Does this make me look fat?” or “Do you think your mom is right?”

Dazed wives cannot properly answer simple questions like, “Was that better than with your previous boyfriend?” or “Does size matter?”

People operating backhoes, forklifts, and chainsaws are losing fingers, toes, arms, and legs in industrial accidents because of him and his deadly attacks.

If Martin Niemöller was alive, he would speak against it.

“First, they came for my arm, and I did not speak out — because I had another arm.
Then they came for my other arm, and I did not speak out — because I had two legs.
Then they came for my leg, and I did not speak out — because I had another leg.
Then they came for my other leg — and there was nothing to do because I couldn’t hop fast enough.”

People poisoned by this deadly killer could care less about unethical decisions harming their neighbors and employees. And judges with it, give harsher sentences to petty criminals.

He has cost the United States close to $500 million every year.

If this killer had oil, Biden would’ve invaded it.
If this killer had rare metals, Putin would’ve invaded it.
If this killer had egg waffles, Jingpin would’ve invaded it.

But this killer has nothing to its name except legislation backing it.

I’m, of course, speaking about Daylight Saving Time and its stupid Spring Forward.

Spring Forward? More like DEATH-forward. If you don’t like the structure of that joke, I don’t care; I woke up at 4 in the morning today instead of 5.

Spring Forward is brutal. Putin has nothing on it.

Spring Forward is back, and nobody likes to discuss the evidence-backed terror it creates.

We can’t get a break. First Covid, then Ukraine, then Gaza, and now Spring Forward. When will this madness end?

The media is always trying to put up smokescreens, so we won’t pay attention to what’s crucial: ending Daylight Saving Time.

Scientists have spoken: Fall Back feels like winning one hour, whereas Spring Forward feels like losing life and limb.

If Spring Forward was a virus, we would have a vaccine by now.

If Spring Forward was an army, we would have armed our young.

If Spring Forward had made an inappropriate joke, we would have ended his career.

I would organize a freedom convoy from Los Angeles to Washington, D.C. if I wasn’t too tired to do anything. But if you desire to do more than I do, feel free to use the picket messaging I have already written.

Our clocks are not a political battleground!!!
Clock rights are human rights!!!
Get your religion out of my clock
My clock, my choice.
God hates clocks!
End DST before it ends us.
End clock brutality now!!!
Sleep-deprived lives matter!!!

We are not farmers anymore. We are stressed, overworked, overcommitted, overcommuted, crazed, modern dwellers in need of precious sleep.

Who cares about one more hour of light when we can have one more hour of sleep? Besides, that’s what the blue lights in our phones are for: to illuminate the world and our retinas while darkening our empathy and ability to connect in real life.

The media might not want to tell you about this, but I do because I respect you as an intelligent citizen capable of making up your own mind. You can face the facts.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, let’s stop this madness before more people get hurt!


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